AS ADVISED BY the head of human resources, the phone number of the security department was cued on my phone in the event my employee again refused to leave my office during a performance meeting. She was once a close friend, but now as her supervisor, I needed armor for every encounter. On my desk, hidden in a folder, were a prepared and practiced script along with reminders of tactics. Don’t defend yourself; ask neutral questions; don’t get emotional even if she does; don’t accept unsupported claims meant to confuse you; keep focused on the agenda rather than reacting to petty grievances dredged from the past; breathe. Many years’ experience as a victim of narcissistic manipulation, usually leveraged to best effect by close family and friends, served me well as necessary fortification.
I learned the hard way how to confront enemies more formidable than those of Queen Esther in the Bible when she prayed “O God, whose power is over all, hear the voice of those in despair. Save us from the power of the wicked, and deliver me from my fear.” At least in mortal battles such as hers, tactics and wounds are more likely physical, overt and predictable than those of psychological warfare.
Continue reading “Facing enemies with detachment takes courage”
Jean P. Kelly, Intentional Path Media 