BY JEAN P. KELLY

THE PRAYERS offered by my husband and I from the front seat of our car request assistance not only for those we are about to help, but also for us, the helpers. We request blessing and healing for hungry neighbors home-bound due to age, illness, and lack of material resources, but also ask for sincerity in our intentions as regular Meals on Wheels volunteers. Beginning both our Monday and Tuesday routes with such pause and mindfulness provides necessary protection from temptations always lurking nearby, including expectations of gratitude from those we serve and self-congratulations offered by our egos. In my experience, doing good—truly good–requires unblinkingly honest and ongoing evaluation of who is being served and why.

In Matthew’s retelling of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus warns us “not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them.” That seems easy enough: Don’t go bragging about doing good. Got it. In Lent, all three lectionary cycles treat Jesus’s temptation in the desert on the first Sunday, a clear heads-up about misusing privilege for purposes less than God’s purpose. Don’t be gluttonous, don’t test God, and don’t worship power. Check. Check. Check.

“Seva is not done to feed our egos or to make ourselves feel good. Seva, like love, is not self-serving. Seva is animated by concern and compassion. We serve because we love.”
–Simran Jeet Sing, The Light We Give:
How Sikh Wisdom Can Transform Your Life

But if when hearing familiar scriptural passages such as these I tune out or, worse yet, give myself a pass, I miss an opportunity for mature spiritual discernment. On second look, I can’t help but notice how all the Devil’s offers are good on the surface, which I guess is what makes them tempting in the first place. Likewise, when living out the teaching of James that “faith without works is dead,” I need to consider which works build up the kingdom, how my service does or does respect the dignity of those helped, and when sacrifice is more about me than about others. As Fr. Richard Rohr reminds us “Daily ethical choices are not between total good and total evil, but between various shades of good…or even evil that disguises itself as good.”

Sure, feeling good about doing good is a lovely side-benefit of service, but when I stop there—staying centered on myself—I miss important opportunities for both growth and deeper love and respect of others. In other words, social action as part of a contemplative faith life requires evaluation of both the explicit and implicit, both my motives as well as power dynamics, biases, and assumptions baked into my position as a helper.

Recently, I’ve learned about the Sikh faith’s concept of “loving service,” thanks to conversations with activist and scholar Simran Jeet Singh, author of bestseller The Light We Give: How Sikh Wisdom Can Transform Your Life and Read. Pray. Write. Podcast guest. He introduced me to “seva,” what his faith sees as prayer through service. I recognized alignment with Christian teachings, including Teresa of Avila’s admonition to “pray the work” and Therese of Lisquiex’s preference for small, anonymous acts of service rather than grand gestures and self-sacrifices. But a founding concept of Sikhism seemed to offer something more, the idea of “radical connectedness” (ik oankar) in which everything and everyone is bound together.

Singh explains how believing in “oneness,” is not enough. Connectedness must be part of daily spiritual practice, “seeing the light” in others—a new person every day—a connection deeper than surface similarities.  The resulting empathy is a necessary nuance of seva, making it richer than our “golden rule.”

“Seva calls on us to decenter ourselves and to center those we aim to serve,” he writes in The Light We Give. “This is because seva has its roots in oneness and love. Each of these three—oneness, love, and seva—share the element of selflessness. Through connection, we open up the boundaries that separate us. Through love, we enter into a state of union. Through service, we go beyond our sense of self. Seva is not done to feed our egos or to make ourselves feel good. Seva, like love, is not self-serving. Seva is animated by concern and compassion. We serve because we love.”

That is, if and when we see ourselves as part of all Creation—our souls intimately connected with all other souls—the love we express through service honors our core values and commitments. Praying before delivering food to my neighbors helps me discern, respect, accept, forgive and love all at the same time.

“What God wants is merciful people, not heroic sacrifices,” Fr. Rohr reminds us. “God wants you to know how love intimately works, and then you can skip your gestures of self-sacrifice.”